Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Let's Talk Marriage: Heart to Heart

Teaching notes:

There are several reasons why people get married. Some people marry on the basis of their feelings: They feel that they love each other so much that they want to be committed to each other. Some use marriage as a way to escape from a situation in their families, while others seek financial security. Many young couples have gotten married because of untimely pregnancies, and there are still those who find themselves in arranged or fixed marriages. Whatever the reasons may be, no marriage is an accident.

A Marriage has many elements that need to be put in order; however, man’s tendency is to take control of its assembly. Marriage requires careful reference to the manual because it lasts, not only for a season, but a lifetime.

“Therefore, everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock” (Matthew 7:24-25).

A marriage can be likened to a house that is constantly threatened by termites. These can eventually destroy the structure especially if our foundations are not right. Some of these marriage termites are: Verbal attacks which result in uncontrollable temper; Being manipulative, an attempt to change the mind of the spouse through lectures or threats; Annoying habits that annoy the partner, especially when repeated constantly; Insensitivity to the partner by making independent decisions; And public display of bickering.

The good news is, there is a solution: Knowing the heartbeat of God in marriage.

1.God laid down the foundation in marriage.

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on ground” (Genesis 1: 27-28).


God designed marriage, therefore, He knows how it operates. A marriage involves the husband, the wife, and God. It is best illustrated as a triangle, with God at the topmost corner, and the husband and the wife taking the two bottom points.



The more intimate the man and the woman move to God, the closer they become to each other.

2.God offered the unity of man and woman in marriage.

“The LORD God said, “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18).


A suitable helper means a wife who encourages and who is 100% for her man. Marriage is the main component for companionship. God created a wife for the man to be his teammate. There are certain uniqueness between a man and a woman that is necessary in a partnership team.

3.God wants us to have victorious marriages.

“For the LORD your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory” (Deuteronomy 20: 4).


To have victory, we must know our roles:

“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22).

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25).


Without partnership, it is difficult to make a marriage work.

Today’s culture has allowed women to establish their own status in the society, making it sometimes more challenging for them to embrace the concept of submission. Yet, a wife’s submission to her husband is first and foremost, an act of submission to God, just as a man loving his wife is first and foremost, an act of loving God.

It is not about what we can do, but what God can do in our marriages.

4.God wants our marriages to be exciting.

God is a God of excitement and creativity. The bible tells that God loves surprises!

Since God is an exciting God, we can live in expectancy in our marriages. Creativity is a necessary ingredient in our relationships as couples.

All marriages are founded on LOVE – God’s love: His love that we receive and in turn, give to our spouses.

“This is love for God; to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome” (1 John 5:3).

“Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate” (Matthew 19:6b).

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